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Regarding Disappearances and Falling off Bandwagons

6/21/2011

1 Comment

 
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I haven’t written in a while.  I haven’t felt like myself in a while, I keep thinking, ‘where has my spirit gone…’

I went to the Landmark Forum last weekend in San Jose, I stayed in a Motel 6 and ate big cartons of ice cream when I returned to the funky smelling room. I went because I wanted to gain insight into what this funk is about; what unconscious beliefs I’m holding onto that make life seem a little more difficult than usual…And though Landmark has been a powerful medium in the past, this weekend I ended up sneaking out the backdoor Sunday afternoon, feeling refreshed by the freedom.

It’s interesting, in this state of deep feelings of sadness, I keep turning food, to sweet foods, ice cream and chocolate, to help calm the tears. And to be honest, in the moments when I’m actually eating the Chunky Monkey Ice Cream and milk chocolate bars, I feel happy,  I’ll I’m thinking about is how  how absolutely delicious it tastes!  And then, of course, the guilt and the upset stomach sets in…

I haven’t binged like this in years. It’s reminding of how powerful a drug food can be, how dependent we can become out it to numb ourselves and experience pleasure, when nothing else seems to be providing it. I am gaining a whole new level of  insight and empathy for food addiction, and perhaps that is something I should be deeply grateful.  I do, after all, want to bring food addiction counseling into my work because more and more I see how this is a major barrier to people getting the results they want.

Before going to Landmark, and rediscovering ice cream, I had committed to a 90 day no sugar no flour diet. Well. that’s out the window! (For now!) But is a powerful re-reminded for me how diets don’t work because as soon as we stray, we often keep binging because the feeling of failure sets off a vicious cycle of guilt and the calming guilt with food…

Hence, Healthy Tip: If your just starting to modify your diet, give yourself at least one ‘off’ day.

If you are trying to modify your diet, ie. by taking our sugar, flour, processed foods…give yourself at least one off day, especially in the beginning. This way, if you happen to slip up and eat some sugar, your whole diet won’t be sabotaged, and it will be much easier to stay encouraged and on track!
1 Comment
Nolan Shaw link
8/13/2021 07:12:51 pm

I enjoyed reading your blog thanks.

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    Polina Smith is an exercise and holistic health coach based in San Francisco, with a passion for circus, theater and transformation.

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